Back Again?

Hello readers that probably no longer exist. ;) I am back again to write another post. It has been far too long since I have written. While I never intended to abandon my blog when I got pregnant, that's pretty much what happened. From a horrific pregnancy, serious postpartum issues, and dealing with twins in general, I'd lost touch with this blog. But here I am again!

Why you might ask? Well definitely not to TTC again. We are absolutely done having kids and have taken extreme measures to ensure this. On the contrary, I am still facing misadventures of PCOS. Every day I still battle this awful thing. What reminded me of this blog in the first place is the persistent pain I'm having in my ovaries today. I'm on a birth control pill that actually is constant with no off weeks to hopefully put my ovaries in dormancy. During a laporoscopy to remove scar tissue and tie my tubes, they found my ovaries looking spectacular. But here I am anyways wondering why the heck they still hurt! Darn these misadventures of PCOS! On top of that, I'm still fighting my weight, acne, hair, etc. One of these days I will hope to find relief.

It's Time

Well, I have been missing from my blog, and I promise it has not been my intentions. I have just been super sick lately, and I just have had absolutely no energy to get on here and type up a blog. Alas, the reason for this sickness is one that I take with great pride. To all you infertiles reading this, I hope this gives you hope. I know how hard it is to read pregnancy announcements, so I understand if you run the other way when you read this. My husband and I have been double blessed with two miracles on the way. We are nine weeks pregnant with twins. It was our last shot at the trial, and we were so shocked to learn we got pregnant. You can imagine our amazement when we found out we managed to catch two eggs. Now that it has been made official with family, I feel it is okay to announce it on here.


When I first started this blog, I always dreamed of the day it would turn into a pregnancy blog. Now, I think about it, and that's not what I want at all. I know there will be some pregnancy posts, but this is still a misadventure of PCOS. I still face this battle every day. I am incredibly high risk for so many things because of PCOS. I already failed my one hour glucose test at 8 weeks along. With PCOS and two placentas, I'm bound to have gestational diabetes. Every day the battle with PCOS plagues me with fear. I'm so excited cherishing every moment, but as every infertile knows, that fear never goes away. 


Ultimately, I will try to remain PCOS focused. I know how hard it is to come onto the blog and read about pregnancy every day when it is exactly what you don't want to read about. I get it, and I won't do that to my readers. I pray every day my fellow infertiles will be blessed with babies, and I hope you all know that!

The Infertile & Fertile Friendship

Just a little note... I do realize I have been neglecting my blog, and to any readers who might be out there, I apologize. I have been terribly sick lately, and I've been struggling to get even my homework done. Anyway, I have been pondering this next blog post the last few weeks, and now that I'm feeling a little better, I thought it would be a great opportunity. 

So here we go... how can a fertile be an infertile's friend? 

1. Do ask her to hang out still. Even if she is hesitant and standoffish, I guarantee she will appreciate the offer. There are times when infertiles want to crawl in a hole and hide from every fertile in the world, but that doesn't mean she wants you to stop caring or trying. One day she will return the favor and be active in asking to hang out too.

2. Do ask her about her fertility woes. Just like any fertile would love to talk about their pregnancy or kids, an infertile (out of the closet that is) will likely love the opportunity to ramble about their treatments, feelings, etc.

3. Be sensitive in announcing your new pregnancy. Text or email is probably the best way to go... she likely isn't going to want to be on the phone or in person when she has herself a good cry.  Let her come to terms with the news and know that just because she might not be happy with you, she is more than likely happy for you.

4. Don't discount her for fun activities like trips to the zoo or baby showers. Yes, those trips and events can be a tough experience, but not being invited hurts even more. 

5. Don't expect her to be ready for the fertile world when she finally beats infertility. Being an infertile is not something that goes away with a positive pregnancy test. Chances are she will still be a nervous wreck and terrified something can go wrong at any moment. Respect her inhibitions and be there for her.

Day 40

Day 40 - Does your religion (or lack of) help/hurt/affect your infertility journey? Have you found religion? Lost it? Does it affect what treatments you do?

I’ve always been a believer in God. I grew up going to church, and in my teen years, I found a real connection with my spirituality. Since graduating and moving from the church I grew up in, it’s been tough. However, I’ve maintained my beliefs, and I continue to pray to God. Since facing the infertility journey, my battles with religion have certainly been there. At first, I was angry. I was angry that God would let so many people have babies when they don’t even want them when we wanted one so bad and can’t have one. Then, I started realizing that God doesn’t do this. God didn’t give me PCOS. I know so many people who have said that not getting pregnant was part of God’s plan, and I have a hard time believing that. I feel like there is a path I will take in life, but I’m not so sure God wanted me to face this heart ache. I believe that one day I will look into my beautiful baby’s eyes and know I’m in the right place at the right time, but I’m not willing to accept that God made me suffer along the way to get to that point. As far as it affecting my treatments, it doesn’t. I have read that IUI and IVF are against some religions, but if it ever came to that point, I would do it in a heartbeat. If it is a sin to do everything I can to bring a healthy child in this world and be the best parent I can be, then I guess I’m a sinner. No judgment on anyone who feels differently- that’s my opinion, and you can have yours, too. Ultimately, I do feel I have a strong confidence in God and the power of prayer, but I also believe that PCOS is a medical condition that God would never wish upon me.

Day 39

Day 39 - What is your favorite infertility-related quote? It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.

I have quite a few with my favorite being the one listed at the top of my blog. “When the world says give up, hope whispers try one more time.” A close second is, “It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.” My final favorite is, “You may not end up where you thought you’d be, but you’ll always end up where you’re meant to be."

When you face infertility, there are good days and bad days. Quotes like this remind me that in the end, anything is possible, and we will finally get our miracle. 

From Here to the Moon and Back

I love this song, and I thought I'd share! Dolly Parton sings this on Joyful Noise.

I could hold out my arms, say "I love you this much"
I could tell you how long I will long for your touch
How much and how far would I go to prove
The depth and the breadth of my love for you? 

From here to the moon and back
Who else in this world will love you like that?
Love everlasting, I promise you that
From here to the moon and back
From here to the moon and back

I want you to know you can always depend
On promises made and love without end
No need to wonder how faithful I'll be
Now and on into eternity

From here to the moon and back
Who else in this world will love you like that?
Forever and always, I'll be where you're at
From here to the moon and back

From here to the moon and back

I would blow you a kiss from the star where I sat
I would call out your name to echo through the vast
Thank heaven for you and to God, tip my hat
From here to the moon and back
And I'll spend forever just proving that fact
From here to the moon and back

Woah...

Hormonal much? Thanks Progesterone for making me so grumpy lately.... I guess ignore my pissy attitude. At least it means I ovulated!