Day 6

Day 6- A picture of something that makes you happy.

 

Whenever I look at photos from our wedding, I am reminded of just how blessed I am to have such an amazing husband. He is there for me through it all, and he makes me incredibly happy. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for him.

Day 5

List 15 facts about yourself.

1. I am a wife to an amazing husband.
2. I have PCOS.
3. I have been trying to have a baby with my husband since we got married in May 2010.
4. I am currently in a clinical trial to hopefully get pregnant.
5. I have a super supportive family in everything I do.
6. I am shy at first, but a big chatter box once I open up.
7. I take pride in my grades being on the President’s list a majority of the semesters in school.
8. I have a weakness for chocolate and cookies.
9. I enjoy spending nights curled up with my husband watching tv.
10. I love being an aunt!
11. I can’t wait to buy a house.
12. I am an emotional person, so I take a lot of things to heart.
13. I hate clothes shopping, but I’ll go shopping for tennis shoes or crafts any day.
14. I am a simple girl… meat & potatoes, jeans & tee kind of gal.
15. I am me! :-)

Day 4

Day 4 - If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course) list 10 material possessions you would buy for yourself.

1. IVF (not really material, but it would be my top wish list item!)
2. House in my current city- preferably a big one, so family can visit a lot.
3. New Car for me- the coolest minivan they make of course!
4. New Car for my husband to drive me around in- the coolest sports car!
5. Vacation home in the middle of the woods where no one can find us.
6. Vacation home in Hawaii.
7. Vacation home in Germany.
8. A ginormous diamond ring.
9. Season tickets to all the Detroit teams.
10. All the most expensive baby stuff on the market.

It took me awhile to figure out what would go on my list. I started working on this a few days ago, and I couldn’t get past #3. I am often so wrapped up in this baby making business that I forget to know what it feels like to dream for anything else in life.

Day 3 & Good News

Day 3 - What's in your makeup bag?

Funny story behind that- I went to put on makeup a couple weeks ago, and I realized I don’t own any makeup anymore. I currently have one thing of eye shadow- that’s it! I am not much of a makeup person, but I was shocked I really didn’t have any makeup just in case. I keep thinking I'll buy makeup, but I really don't feel comfortable in it. I'm me... makeup free and happy with that. :-)

As for the good news... I am down 17.6 pounds since my peak weight at the end of April, and 14.2 of those pounds are lost since I revved up my efforts in November. I am elated that I am getting closer to my goal weight. I cannot express how exciting it is to finally see some results on the scale. I am really trying to make it a lifestyle change. So many times I've lost weight and put it all right back on. Of course, I love seeing the numbers go down, but I love even more that I am becoming a healthier me. I am doing it the best way I know- portion control. If I want a cookie, I will eat a cookie. However, I'm going to eat one or two cookies, not the entire package. Allowing myself those goodies while remaining responsible is a way to really get things under wraps for me. I have a goal weight that I want by my birthday at the end of June, and given my rate, I'm thinking it will be an attainable goal. I feel like if I continue it this way as a lifestyle change rather than a diet, I'll be much more successful. Here's to hoping this weight loss train will help me board the baby train!

Day 2 & Video

I'll start off with my Day 2 of my 30 Day Challenge. 

Day 2 - What's in your handbag?

Well, just about everything! This inspired me to clean out my purse. Some things I found were an old printer cartridge (I needed to know what kind to buy), a bag of coupons, eye drops, a bunch of receipts, our GPS device, and the oddest item…. Drum roll please…. You guessed it, a pregnancy test! Bahaha! I forgot I had gotten one when I went to my last trial appointment, and I never took it out! I guess I’ll keep it in there for emergencies when I suddenly have an urge to pee on a stick. ;-)

I also wanted to share a video. I can't post it directly on here, so I'll put the link. I was introduced to this video on my infertility grief support group, and I'd like to share it with anyone who is interested in seeing what it feels like to face infertility first hand. The emotions are almost to a T what I feel every day. Here it is: Tears & Hope Empty Arms Video

30 Day Blog Challenge

Today, I read on a fellow blogger's post about a 30 day challenge that has to do with both getting to know me and about our battle with infertility. I thought it was a great opportunity, so I'm going to try it. I might miss a day or two, but I'll just do it on my own pace (doubtful I'll make it in 30 days! lol). So here it goes... Day 1... 

Day 1 - What is the meaning behind your blog name?

When I first decided to blog, I was almost at a year of trying without success. I needed an outlet to express the ups and downs of PCOS and infertility. I’m not really sure how, but it just popped in my head and has stuck ever since. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll change it when I do get pregnant. I guess we’ll figure that out when we get there. ;-)

Here We Go....

Again! Today marks cycle day one, and I'm ready to get things going again. I've had a rough couple of weeks before this, so I'm eager to regain that hope once more. Every day I am praying for the strength and courage to keep on fighting this fight. I go back and forth so many times on how much hope I have. When I first started ovulating, I was on cloud nine just knowing it was going to happen. As we finished our fifth cycle with an egg, I was worried it might never happen even with an egg. Then, this last cycle without an egg really threw me for a loop. I am honestly scared to death I will never have a baby. I rarely have an egg, and when I do, it doesn't seem to meet with the sperm. I know it is not good to be a pessimistic, but it is so hard to remain hopeful. Even when everything is lined up perfectly, we still didn't get our baby. Now that things are not even close to being lined up, it seems damn near impossible. I know that I have to keep fighting because I'd never forgive myself if I gave up. I just wonder if all this hard work will ever pay off.