As much as I'd love to blame everything on everyone else (wouldn't we all?), I'm working on making amends with people. Somewhere along this road, I became a very hostile and angry person. I am trying so hard to remember the good in everyone. I read a quote today, "Even if you stumble, you're still moving forward." Every day I stumble a little more, but I hope it is in the right direction. I also read, "By changing nothing, nothing changes." I have to make change in my life- and that means in a positive way. Finally, "Getting over a painful experience is like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." I don't want to let go of my dream of having a baby, but I have to let go of every time someone hurt me. I have to let go of the failed cycles and move onto the next ones. I have to let myself open up, heal, and move on. I've been telling myself I was healing, but in all reality, I was just covering up the pain temporarily. Thus, I am sorry to anyone I may have hurt or offended along the way. I know infertility is a part of me and always will be... but.... it is not me. I have infertility, but it does not have me. I am still a human being. A person with a huge heart willing to give love to those who are willing to accept it.
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