You may have noticed I updated my profile with a warning for adult content. Why, you might ask? Oh, because I want to do this... FUCK THIS SHIT!!!! I am seriously so mad right now. The medicine officially is not working this cycle. I didn't ovulate. My temperature is low, and honestly, so are my hopes. This is one of those days where I want to tell everyone to fuck off and go hide in a hole. Instead, I sucked it up. I even faced the public going shopping. At the same time, I'm still in a shitty place. I didn't ovulate even with medicine.... even with medicine which has proven to work in the past. This clinical trial can suck the big one! I'm ready to throw in the towel. I want a baby desperately, but today, I feel like maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom. Maybe I'm just not meant to have that precious miracle. Maybe.... just maybe... fate fuckin' hates me!
deep breath in, sweetie. Do you know for sure, via bloodwork, that it didn't happen? I could have sworn that I didn't a couple cycles and it turns out that I did. The cycles they put us through are hellish for sure, but you have to keep positive!
ReplyDeleteI know that you may not see it right now, but as someone who has been through the whole study process with no success I can tell you that it's worth it to finish, even if no pregnancy comes of it. In my case, it gave my husband and me a lot to think about and to try to communicate better. Focus on the positives, not the negatives.
Thanks... unfortunately, I definitely did not ovulate. :( My temps are consistently low, and my P4 was only 0.5. I thought I had a +opk last Saturday, but my temps are telling me it wasn't. I started my Provera, and I'll be starting a new cycle next week. I'm trying to remain hopeful that this was a fluke, and I'll get better results at a higher dose. In the mean time, I plan hanging low.
ReplyDeleteYou and I had VERY similar cycles at the same time! Last cycle was my 6th on femara (which has always worked) However, this cycle, none of my follicles developed. It was yet another round of provera for me. :(
ReplyDeleteI am now on a double dose and waiting to check the follicle friday.
Keep the faith! I did stop for about 4 months, it didnt make me feel any better.
You never know.... maybe we were intended to make a Christmas baby :)