Today I decided is a perfect opportunity to lay it all out there. Whatever is going through my head, I'm going to write it. In normal conversations, I express my opinions with tact and respect. With this blog post, you can just throw that tact out the window, and if you're easily offended, please look away.
My first thought of the day was how am I ever going to handle another pregnancy announcement? With so many in recent months, I honestly can't imagine how I will respond to the next one. Yay for your pregnancy, but here I am, still infertile and without. It's not that other people being pregnant that makes me upset; it's that I'm not. If I were pregnant or in fact already had the baby given the amount of time I've been trying, I'd say good for you. Instead, I'm sitting here going WTF?! When is it my turn?
I reflect back to when I was in high school and first told having a baby would be a challenge. This is exactly what I feared. I put up that wall and told myself I didn't want a baby for this reason. Here I am, acknowledging by all means that I want a baby- I want it desperately. Now, I just have to face the fact that I knew this was coming. I knew that life was going to be hell if I wanted to fight this fight.
I totally agree with you. I also have PCOS and found this blog through BabyCenter. I do have one child but have now been on a 16month journey of TTC #2. It is hard to hear about everyone elses pregnancy announcements. My brother and sister-in-law just announced they were 10weeks pregnant, and none of us even knew they were trying. I think they didn't tell us because of our problems. That announcement has hit me the hardest out of all the other announcements because it came as a total shock. I am happy for them and at the same time even more disheartened about my journey. Keep up the totally honesty about infertility. It is refreshing and needs to be shared. Good luck, I pray that you get your little miracle soon.
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