Day 38

Day 38 - Tell us about a pre-ttc pregnancy “scare.”

When my husband and I were just starting to be intimate (we were late bloomers, so we had been together for a while), we had a scare. However, as I look back, I think how silly it was that I thought I might be pregnant. I also think about how dumb my doctor was about it. I was taking the pill (albeit not as suggested at the same time every day, but still consistently every day). Plus we used condoms. One day it broke, and we went into panic mode. A few days later, I came down with a stomach bug. I was incredibly nauseated, and I felt warm. At the time, I thought being warmer meant possible pregnancy. Boy, was I naïve! Anyways, it had only been a few days since the incident, and I went to the doctor’s. He did a blood test, and he said it would be able to tell if I was or not. Really, doctor? You could tell that soon? Ugh, what a dumbass! It takes on average 10-14 days after conception to get a positive test because it doesn’t implant until 6-12 days after fertilization. Anyways, we clearly were not pregnant, and I was diagnosed with a stomach bug... surprise, surprise!

I wish I would have known how silly this was. As much as we were not ready to be parents, I cried my eyes out knowing I wasn’t. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and I feared I couldn’t have it. Just the thought of maybe having it was a blessing in my eyes. I called my husband, and he came home from work to hold me as I cried and mourned the loss of the child I may never have. Little did I know this would be one of the many times we’d do this... or maybe I did know this, and that’s why I was so upset? Nonetheless, whether it is planned or not, having the hope of a little one ripped from you is never an easy experience. I pray for the day we hug and embrace for the joy of a life being brought in instead of the constant loss of the baby we might not ever get.