This whole trying to get pregnant thing just really sucks! I hate this with a passion! :-( Another cycle has come and gone. I try to be positive and remember that at least I had an egg, but it is so damn hard. Even with an egg, my progesterone levels are risky business. And of course, being part of a clinical trial means I can't take supplements until it's probably too late. Then, I think well that's okay, this trial is almost done. Nope, can't think positively with that because after the trial I won't be worried about p4 levels anymore if I don't even have an egg. It is an endless circle of misery. So many people get pregnant when they don't even want it... why can't I get it when I try so hard for it? Even if I do get it, will it really mean I get a baby? Some days I wonder. I'm so tired of being such a downer, but how the hell am I supposed to be positive with the odds so against me? Today, like so many days on this misadventure, I find myself asking why me? Why did I get stuck with these crappy ovaries? I just don't get it.
Of course, after this, I'll pick my sappy ass back up and get on with it. I have to keep trying. I want to be a mom more than anything, and I'm willing to put my heart on the line to make it happen. Oh, here's to hoping...
(((Hugs!!!!)))
ReplyDelete*hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm going to let you in on a little secret; if you and I were on the same meds in the study, there is only a 24% success rate with it in getting pregnant. However, I do have a bright side for you to look toward (what my doctor/research head told me): the study is almost over all over the US, and they will be compiling the data almost instantly. Our participating in it will give them more answers on how to best work with PCOS women and their fertility and how to best pair meds (Clomid or Femara solo, or pairing one or the other with metformin). Even if it doesn't work now, we are helping them to get the answers they need to help us in the not too distant future (I think he said by September they should have the data from everywhere compiled and published).
It is a long struggle, and it can take a toll; it took me seven years to have my son, and for five of those years I didn't know about the PCOS. But it is possible, I promise you. Please stay positive!
Thanks for the hugs.
ReplyDeletekebrown, I knew going into the trial that the average success with pregnancy was about 25%. It didn't really surprise me since you only have a 20-25% chance of pregnancy in any given cycle for any given person. I know that one of the biggest reasons I did the trial because I wanted the research to help others in the future. It just sucks in the mean time when it is failure after failure after failure.